Press "Enter" to skip to content

Month: February 2021

Hum

I met a girl with lips like bubble gum, pink and puffy. I wanted to kiss them, but she wasn’t real. She was a Wash-Rite Girl, those full lips moving only in sync with the canned instructions on the machine. “Not too much soap,” she said and didn’t say. “Not too much water,” she said, though there wasn’t any water. Just soda grit, like beach sand. Soft and white. Powdered water.

I was on leave. Seven days, local. Sleepless nights every four hours, round and round a beetling orange sun. I didn’t know the girl had a name. She wasn’t real, but they called her Hum. Her body was flawless, like an enameled tooth, but her voxbox had been punctured by an errant clothes-hook and it lent a deep throb to her voice. “Not tuuuu much water,” she tried to say. “Not tuuuu much soap.”

I liked the sound of it. I stayed after my laundry came out of her machine. I paid for a hot fold and a scent like corroded iron, some local specialty. It cost me a day’s wages, but I heard her voice twice more, watched those lips move in their prerecorded paths, new words I’d never seen them shape before. “Pleeease pre-pay,” they said (or was it “Please look away.”). They said “Don’t look at me.” They said “Come back,” or “Wait for me.”

I spent seven months underwater. Local. I don’t know how to do the conversion anymore. We forget, sometimes. It’s in my record anyhow. I don’t even need to know how old I am. Sometimes I forget that too. I’m a certified 150-BB, which means I can operate a cell-crane in full darkness, without backup, and can be alone for super-extended hours. My compensation is 2nd tier, but I have no home — permanent transient status — and the forced leave gets tedious. After seven months I had laundry to do.

Hum didn’t wait for me. She was gone when I surfaced. The Wash-Rite was gone. The A-block that housed it, too. A reorg had come through, efficiently smoothing away what could be better accomplished elsewhere. The ocean would be pumped out next. The new gravity inverters had already made my job obsolete. It was another new age, a political transition that transcended politics. That’s what they said in the office as they cut the link-line in my sub-dermal. You’re free to go, they said.

I went to find Hum.

It was the voice I was looking for, not the girl. She never existed. She was pink lips and a few lines of an algorithm initiated at the turn of the century. Too much soap in a world without soap. Too much water in a world without water. Only the voice remained. Haunting my sleepless hours, whispering down the severed end of the link-line, a ghost throbbing along my own vocal cords, as if without Hum herself they would speak through me.

I was decertified. I took a job at a reconciliation depot, reprogramming data-miners who were no longer needed. Some became terminals, happily coaxing wave fields into visual media. Others were terminal, and ended their unhappy lives in a medium of chlora-gel and dissolvent. Hum wasn’t one of these, and I never heard her voice in their voices. I never heard it again.

July 15, 2015

birds

two caged birds.
and i wanted to ask you
how were the dogs?
and you told me a woman
came to clean your house
and so i was replaced.
(i never could abide birds.)

December 24, 2017

AJ

it happened the first time i saw you
in the rain
beneath the terror
of thunder
and the unknown.
your smile
as bright and broad
as warm and welcoming
as a secret sunrise.

December 22, 2017

i cannot help you

i cannot help you
she says
and holds up a hand like a wall.
a wall between me and you.
between what was and what will be.
between the past and the future.
between the pain and what I must do.
i stand for a moment, suspended.
my bags clutched in my hands,
what little i could take with me
of what had been,
what could never be again.
severed. split. undone.
i tremble. unable to breathe.
i cannot help you she says.
i turn away. frantic.
between one flight and another.
i run.

2015

pedestrian

if you're going to hit me
do so at speed
and without
hesitation.

don't brake
don't swerve
don't look back

proceed without caution
along the path of the machine
into me
through me
to your destination

as if I was not
and had never been
here.

2015

i am a million miles

i am a million miles wide

i am ten million miles deep

i flow, from east to west

i move through multiple dimensions at once

i can't stop
i never stop

i move because there's nothing else to do

headlong

with no one to catch me if i fall

when i fall

i hope i fall hard

enough

not to walk
away

2015

art is an act of love

art is an act of love
art is a patient mother
art is a fiction
of love
in a beautiful world
of mothers that love
in a beautiful world

March 29, 2018

some day morning

He had enormous brown eyes, pools of warmth framed by affectionate crinkles. He wrapped his arms around me and I fell into a cocoon spun of equal parts fantasy and fatherhood; sheltered, treasured, loved, cherished. He released me with a sigh.

I dropped another coin into the box.

December 21, 2017

Creative Commons License
Except where otherwise noted, the content on this site is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.